I Can't Believe One of Us HAS One of These!

It's happened. One of us finally has one of these...and I just can't believe we're old enough to! Welcome Ellia Helene, new daughter of my great friend Slish. While she was in town (she had the nerve to move to Wisconsin, of all places!) Chelsea and I went to visit and smothered her fattening thighs and cheeks with kisses. Sadly missed was our Wild Lioness, far far away in dreary Hawaii...

Introducing the Best Kept Secret in Utah

Jessica May Design. See below for more on this fabulous woman...

Some More Jes

Jessica May Design

This past weekend my good friend Jes took pictures of Brent and I on saturday afternoon- and they turned out phenomenally. These are only a couple of the hundreds that turned out beautifully. Since she is the artist of my unique and one of a kind wedding gown, we got all gussied up (and YES I fit into my wedding gown three years later!) and she took the reigns. Jes has arrived! Not only does she hand-craft the most exquisite wedding gowns (and everything in between), but she is an amazing photgrapher. Check out Jes & Jonathan and Jessica May Design on my links to see some other amazing creations and/or to contact her. She can make anything, sew anything, design anything, and has a modern edge to her photography that sets her apart as one of the most unique artists I've known. Her prices are very reasonable for her expertise, and she does family shots, pets, bridals, weddings (and everything in between). She does it all, and I'm proud to call her my friend! If you want to know more, let me know or contact her directly from her sites.

Inspector Gadget

For some reason, when the general populace googles 'private investigators,' my company's contact info shows up for utah county. Now, this leads me to believe a few different things when a trembling and or angry voice asks me,"- "What are your rates?" or "I need a private investigator about a domestic issue" or something along those lines. Part of me wants to play along, get all the sordid details about what they need privately investigated, and then politely decline. And the last part of me just marvels at the unhappiness, suspicion, and complete distrust that numerous (and i mean numerous) people in this one Utah county have with the people in their lives. Interesting, is it not? Ultimately, though- I must get back to my work...bwa ha ha ha

Musings on Mankind

And so, my brain thought and thought some more:

I came across a great quote the other day, one in which Billy Graham's daughter was interviewed on the Early Show and Jane Clayson asked her "How could God let something like this happen?"(regarding Katrina). Anne Graham replied, "I believe God is deeply saddened by this, just as we are, but for years we've been telling God to get out of our schools, to get out of our government and to get out of our lives. And being the gentleman He is, I believe He has calmly backed out. How can we expect God to give us His blessing and His protection if we demand He leave us alone?"

And I thought to myself all the monotonous, un-original complaints against a God and the American Government when anything bad happens- and the misplaced blame involved as well. If American doesn't go to war (at all or not when the populace demands it- i.e. WWII just one example) there is an uproar and America calls its government unfeeling, unpatriotic and selfish and demands action. When America does go to war in response to a current issue (i.e. Iraq) we're suddenly intolerant, inpatient intruders, and are needlessly wasting American lives. Mantras of "GET OUT" and "GET IN" juxtapose throughout modern American history. Food for thought, I say, and this is what else I say-

What does this sound like to you? A country, a group of people (or mankind in general?) who, when faced with tragedy, tyrannical consequence, and disaster quote the overused phrase, "How could God let this happen?" or for those who mock the Father, "How could your God let something like this happen if there was a God?" But I find it sublimely ironic, even hypocritical, that we blame an unseen deity for the worst in life- but when accomplishment occurs?

We unhesitatingly take all the credit, all the praise, all the award, all of it. Found a cure for a disease? Credit goes to man. Nobel prize, peace prizes, Medals of Honor, Acknowledgement and Public Media Coverage. Who has ever awarded God with one of these prizes? I would venture to say, none. A small child is saved from a fire? Man took the risk and saved a life. Humanitarian Aid to a floundering country? Oh well, of course we help our fellow man, and the economy soars. The point is, it's ME ME ME and I I I. We could never accredit the joy, peace, and miraculous to an unseen Deity, but we certainly can blame Him for everything else.

Again, what does this sound like? It sounds like a teenager. Is mankind, then, America perhaps, only in it's adolescence? It seems obvious to me that this is indeed true. Taking the credit for anything good (whether deserved or not), blaming everything terrible on someone else, having no patience to see anything through after it had been decided, and not trusting your elders and those who have gone before. When everything is about me, when everything is selfish and it's all about self-survival and self-fulfillment. The stage where, biologically, chemically, and psychologically you are unable to function at an adult level. Your cerebral cortex is not clicking and connecting as it should, the nerves are firing but not quite reaching their potential. You remember the days when you knew your parents knew nothing. And then you certainly remember the day when you realized that they know everything. And that they were almost always right. That they indeed understood life, and saw the greater picture, and that almost everything they did was to benefit not themselves- but you.

America, Mankind needs to see that it's parent, it's Father- because He loves His children, will indeed honor free agency and will listen when told by His angry teenager to "Get out of my room!" I do not doubt that He respects our requests, our space, and our choices- whether He agrees or not. Now that, my friends, is someone we should be more like.

The Fives

The Fives...tag yourself
5 Things I was doing ten years ago
1. Starting my tenuous second year of college as an art major
2. Lifeguarding at the HPER
3. Trying to survive on quarters and bumming car rides
4. Making Japanese dinners with my roommate Lori "Chickie Mama"
5. Crazy nights were just the beginning of that terribly hard and revealing year

5 Things I was doing 5 years ago
1. Had more money than I ever had, working full time with great people I have never forgotten
2. Living life to its utmost, reliving another childhood complete with costumes and pumpkin innards, jumping in water fountains and singing in the middle of the city
3. Breaking up and getting back together with the first love of my life
4. Head lifeguard for Lake Pearl and all my beautiful little campers
5. Trained for triathalons and had a body harder than rock. Sigh...

5 Things I was doing a year ago
1. Living with crutches after I shattered my ankle chasing after one of my dogs
2. Making my first Thanksgiving Dinner all by myself and it ROCKED
3. Coaching my first swim team in Utah and loving it
4. Painting every room in our new home- vibrant grass green? Too bad, baby- it's going up!
5. Taking afternoon walks with my hunny and our dogs around our beautiful, mountain filled, crisp aired parks and trails

5 snacks I really enjoy
1. Guacamole
2. Olive Oil and Rosemary Trisquits
3. Dark Chocolate covered rasins
4. Red Seedless Grapes
5. Almond Joys

5 Things I did yesterday
1. Worked 8 -5
2. Feverishly organized all our overdue bills
3. Picked up my paycheck
4. Ordered take out dinner and fed the dogs
5. Crashed on the couch and was asleep by 9 pm (ok, give me a break...i'm recoverying from being sick!)

5 Jobs I've had
1. Florist
2. Swim instructor
3. Office Administrator
4. Telemarketer
5. Coach

5 things I would do if I had a million dollars
1. Pay off all our debt! Then pay of my family's debt. Then buy my best friends new cars.
2. Fix up our house
3. Buy two small homes (a cabin in the woods with lots of land, and a small bungalow on the ocean somewhere....maybe I'll just buy my own island...!)
4. Buy a sailboat
5 Tithe

5 TV shows that I like
1. The Office
2. Lost
3. Divine Design & reDesign (HGTV)
4. The Cooking Channel in general
5. Planet Earth

5 Things I hate doing
1. Thinking of things I hate
2. Waking up to darkness and driving home in darkness. Missing every hour the sun is out.
3. Talking to creditors
4. Sweeping EVERY DAY the accumulated dog hair on my kitchen floor and carpets
5. Traffic

5 Biggest joys of the moment
1. It's fall. My most favorite season.
2. How happy my two dogs are, every day, every moment, to see me.
3. Knowing (finally) what it is that I am meant to do in this life, and working towards that.
4. The honesty and utter connection between Brent and I.
5. The knowledge that with only the power of my mind, spirit and heart, I can choose which moments bring me joy, no matter what else is going on around me.

In Memoriam

As I sat sobbing on the couch last night, after I had let the wave of grief wash over me, I uncontrollably started singing.

"Sam, sam sam, Sam SAM SAM SAM, sam sam sam sam, sam SAAAAMMMMMMM!!!!"

His song. His own song we sang to him time and time again on the piano, and he would howl along (the only time he ever howled) with his family. He sang with us because he always loved, more than anything, to be included and a part of our lives. He wanted to be smack dab in the middle, curled behind our legs in bed, or digging in our stomachs and snorting happily all the way.

Truly, you never heard such a contented groan of fulfillment as when Sammy flopped down in the middle of a room where all five of us were. Then, and only then, did he truly relax. He loved his family, and we loved him back.

Was he the world's best dog? Absolutely and unequivocably no...
Samson had just as many quirks and issues as the family he lived with. Yes, he was a Schmalz through and through. He was a hoser and a bushy eyebrow, he was exasperating and he was unpredictably tender. He was Parascope and Falcor, Phantom and Toodles. He hated men (unless they knew his sweet spot and massaged their way into his acceptance) and snapped at little children that treated him like a cute puppy doll (who can blame him? It threatened his already questionable manhood!).

He lost his beautiful tan and black coloring but solidifed himself into the hearts of our family. Honestly, I don't think anyone else even liked our Samson (except Anna and Teri Smith, themselves soft-hearted animal lovers), but that didn't seem to bother him one bit. He had his family, and that was all he needed in his world. He was jealous of our time, and let us know (ALL THE TIME) when he thought you should get off the phone and give him all of your attention. He skid across the smooth kitchen floor and ran in place as we laughed, excited (each and every single time) for his 'treats.' He accompanied our family on every trip, and basked in the freedom he had at the Thousand Islands- though he never learned to love the water, and looked like a drowned rat any time he got wet. He hated baths and got lost in the snow (remember in Syracuse it was over his head?), and guarded his territory (all down Phyllis Road) with stout authority. He chased after dogs three times his size, and for fifteen years was the Schmalz Family Mascot.

I know that his eyes grew foggy, and his hearing dim, and his mind started to wander. And I know, dad, that you think maybe he didn't know us anymore when we came home. But I have to say, every time I have come home since he's been getting sicker, after the initial fright at our arrival- he never failed to seek me out, quietly, when I was alone- and he would cautiously sniff his way over my body, like he was sure there was something there he remembered, something that was important to him. And every time, without fail- he would remember me. His eyes would snap up to mine and he would look at me with his head tilted- and I knew it and he knew it and things were right with the world again. Then he'd trot away (grumpy old man that he was) or jump from my reach, but always, always he would come to me at night.

And what I hold dearest, is the sound of his little paws scratching at my door late at night or early in the morning- when he would come to check on me. I'd let him in, and he would jump up and, after sniffing my face and licking my nose, would turn around three times and curl up in the small space behind my knees. Then he would sigh, I remember the sound of that sigh, and fall asleep. Until it was time to check on the next person, and he would leave. There is nothing more comforting to me than to reach down and feel his black tipped floppy ears, and his smooth tongue on my hand. There is nothing more meaningful to me than the nights he sat up with me, licking my tears and staring at me with those big brown eyes. He was my best friend for half my life. And I will miss him every day of the rest of it. My grief hurts so badly only because he was loved so deeply, and I know that he knew that. And how grateful I am that his last moments in this world were with those he loved;

His family.

Sammy, we love you.

Rest in His peace, my friend.

Samson Methuselah Schmalz
June 23, 1992 - October 29, 2007

THE CURSE IS FOR SURE OVAH!!!

MY RED SOX HAVE DONE IT AGAIN!!!!!!

Oh, it's a sweet world once more.
The adrenalin, the insanity, the screaming, the crying, the anger:
And that's just me in my living room!
When the Boston Red Sox (my home town team) finally broke the 86 year curse of the Bambino in 2004, Brent and I decided that it had something to do with our inventiveness. You see, in the 2004 Playoffs against the Yankees, my Red Sox were down 3 to nothing. No one, in the history of MLB has a team come back to win the series from 0 and 3. So Brent and I decided something needed to change. We believed! We believed in Papi and in Manny, Pedro, Trot, Damon (traitor), Cabrera and the rest. And so, on game 4 we came home from work- ordered a pizza- stripped completely naked and turned on the telly. Well, praises to the God of all that's good it WORKED!!! And so, after the first win and their consecutive history making comeback, each and every game until number 7 we sat buck neked on the couch, eating pizza, watching our team win. And our good luck charm didn't end there, but continued on as they swept the Cardinals to become 2004's World Series Champs. Sigh, I can still taste that pizza...and feel the rash I got from the couch...
Nevertheless: here we are again, 2007 and my boys are on their way. This time, I think I'll put a towel down...

Caught the Big One, Folks

So I did- got the big one. Got hired last week for a great place, and they are paying me SAWEETLY. Life is s'good.

So I need your help! I need to find a job while I spend every other waking moment working on my 'ahem' REAL career. If you would all just keep your eyes open for me- I have ten years experience running offices as Office Administrator, Admin Assistant, Accounting Assistant, etc. I need to help the hunny pay the bills, especially since swim season is over and coaching is done. So if you, my kind friends, would keep a look out for me I will OU big time. Thank you...

My husband...What is his name? Brent Alan

How long have you been together? Since December 5, 2003. Got married in Boston October 9th, 2004.

First Date: He took me to Salt Lake- Macaroni Grill and walking around Temple Square. We also ended up at Starbucks, I think- for the now traditional Caramel Apple Cider. It was so warm for December that year, and he just stared at me while I ate my dinner. Made me self-conscious, because I have always been a girl to eat well on a date!

First kiss: At his apartment, about a week or so after we started dating. Man his lips were the most beautiful thing I had ever seen in my life. Truly, they tasted even better. =O)

How old is he? 30

Who eats more? Unless it's a platter of brownies- him.

Who said I love you first? He Did. It took me a lot longer, but I admired his bravery!

Who is taller? I'm 5'7", he's 6'2". Perfect for even my tallest heels...

Who sings better? I'm more trained than he is, but his voice is surprisingly unique and pleasant. That sounds funny, but it's true!

Who is smarter? English, Literature, Finances, Cooking, Art, Music: me. Everything else? Him.

Who does the laundry? Both of us, whoever thinks of it first.

Who does the dishes? Mostly him, since I cook- and it's a hard rule- whoever cooks don't clean.

Who sleeps on the right side of the bed? I do. Ha, like Natalie- I want him closer to the door. I just sleep easier!

Who pays the bills? Me. With my spread-sheet-tracking-anal-retentiveness-supporting-system.

Who mows the lawn? Him. With his brand new (not so inexpensive) Honda 5000 (or something like that) mower. "But Monica, we'll never have to buy another mower again!"

Who cooks dinner? Me. Unless I want Hawaiian Haystacks or chicken quesadillas.

Who drives when you are together? Him, unless he's faking being so tired he can't keep his eyes open...wait a minute, that little ars!

Who is more stubborn? Probably me.

Who is the first to admit when they're wrong? He does. Hands down.

Whose parents do you see the most? Sigh, his. Mine are 3,000 miles away. His are 45 minutes.

Who kissed who first? He kissed me. But it was fairly mutual...you know, when you don't break the gaze? It was magic. And is still the thing I enjoy doing most on this earth. Well....maybe not the most....

Who proposed? Him. At the same place and time (apprx. 1 a.m.) May 23rd, 2004 where we had hung out the first night we met. He had put it off for almost a month because I had gotten (of all things) walking pneumonia, and was still a hacking, stuffed up, incapacitated girl. But when he had the ring, he couldn't wait any more. I'm glad.

Who is more sensitive? Both of us fairly equally. He's not afraid to cry and I love that about him, in fact every male in his entire family boo-hoo's about something on a regular basis. It's the most peculiar thing to see, seeing as I have still never seen my father shed a tear. But, when in Rome...cry with them.

Who has more friends? Him. Definitely. I have fewer, but they're more bosom buddies than just hang out friends. I prefer it that way.

Who has more siblings? He has 5. I have 2. He wins.

Who wears the pants in the family? Occasionally, he likes to don a pleated skirt...and I let him!

The Rules are:
1) Players, you must list one fact that is somehow relevant to your life for each letter of your middle name. (If you don't have a middle name, use the middle name that you wish you had.)
2) When tagged, you need to write your own blog post containing your own middle name facts.
3) At the end of your blog post, you need to choose one person for each letter of your middle name to tag. Don't forget to leave a comment telling them that they're tagged and to read your blog.

R - ridiculous: like telling brent how to landscape or build a house. or crying over my stupid chicken thighs that just would not cook all the way through! or climbing bridal veil waterfall barefoot. or driving across country without a map. on purpose. or rapping into a recorder with two other white skinned un-rap-able people. or...

A - "atom bomb, baby!" : haha. never fails to make me laugh, my hubby. and yes, i do like thinking of myself as a kind of bomb...i do tend to go off occasionally, sometimes i cause collateral, sometimes i feel 'bombish,' but no matter how the day goes, i do know i'm a great (though potentially dangerous) invention!

I - indestructible: with everything i've been through; i'm still here. and that is definitely, among other things, a miracle! when i open my eyes after thinking that somehow i'd exploded or spontaneously combusted, i'm quite frankly surprised to look down and see that i'm still all in one piece. apparently, i'm rather tough. =O)

TAG: Briana & Kayla

My Family

my brother jacob and his side kick, Apx. My beautiful sister Katrina Jane. Trouble makers Memphis and Hazel. Sweet Jacob. And my mother with her new hat. It was so good to see my family, I miss them so much.

The Thousand Islands

this beautiful, beautiful place

rainbow over boldt castle

brent and i braving a fabulous storm

my dad piloting the pontoon boat and brad in the background

katrina and kandace: river mermaids

the view from our porch

The Thousand Islands. And yes, the 1000 Islands Salad dressing also was inspired by this place. Nestled in the great St. Lawrence River, there are over 1800 Islands known, starting at the mouth of the river from Lake Ontario, and flowing thousands of miles out to the Atlantic ocean. This river forms the natural border between the U.S. and Canada, and seems to be little known. My family has been coming up to the 1000 Islands since the 1920's, my siblings and I are the fourth generation so far. I have never been anywhere that heals me as much as this sacred place. The Native American's called it Manitouana, or "The Garden of the Great Spirit." Legend says that the Great Spirit was angered by the constant warring between the various tribes, and offered a bountiful and beautiful garden, "Manitouana," if they would cease their warring and live in peace. For a time, they did, but when the fighting began again the Great Spirit gathered up his garden in a blanket, but it tore as he rose, and the garden fell in a thousand pieces, creating the garden we know today. Another version I have heard is that when the Great Spirit rose with the garden in his blanket, that through the small rip a thousand flowers slipped through the hole, and when they landed in the water below they became Islands. Wherever the truth lies, there is no doubt that this place is an Eden on earth.

July with Jacob

grandma's great adventure trophies

sweet, sweet boy

rafting down provo river

silly with cousins thatcher, aynslea & ella

the bandana family up parley's canyon

action shot! jacob with hazel & memphis

Family Pictures July 2007

We had little Jacob here with us for most of July, and he just left us last Saturday. We're both so sad, but so grateful to have spent such a wonderful time with him. He's the most amazing child...

And as for family pictures? For last minute race around trying to find three outfits to match and to iron and to scrub stains out of since I had no time to wash- I think we look great. =O)

ps...especially our oh-so-serious-don't-smile one that Jacob wanted to do...

Out of Order (you may say but time doesn't really exist now, does it?)

At the end of April, Brent and I took a much needed vaca and drove (all night long...well, I drove all night long Brent couldn't keep his eyes open. So I listened to Bill Cosby and Jerry Seinfeld to keep me awake and laughing) to southern california, where my Wild Lioness was getting married. The wedding was exquisite and Erin was edibly beautiful, and despite some mishaps for our bridesmaid dresses (word to kristen) it was flawless. But- it wasn't all about me now, anyway, was it? =O) After the wedding days, we spent two days at Disneyland, one with my favorite girl Kirsten and her hunny, and a day at Huntington Beach. It was so beautiful, and anytime I can catch a wiff of ocean air, I'm home. Doesn't matter I was on the wrong coast. We strolled down and had marvelous milkshakes at Ruby's, and Brent was so tired he fell asleep across the booth from me and started muttering craziness! "You can trade with Maria and Anna." Trade what? I asked him. "You can trade recipes for blessings." WHA! He does this all the time and never fails to crack me up. Another entry in our love book...

Regardless of his crazed mutterings, it was wonderful to see old friends and to see Erin get married to her boy. Those moments in the temple that we are so blessed to witness just fill my well up again, when I had not even known it was near empty. I am grateful and blessed and certainly am loving my life.

Now to jump ahead a couple months- happy 4th of July, all. God bless.

Smokin' Firebrands and Sprinklers

So much has been going on the last month! Work has been busy and stressful for Brent, as the summer 'boom' didn't happen and work is surprisingly hard to find. Too many framers and not enough people buying houses. However, we are still blessed and are doing fine. Our big May/June happenings were my trip to Boston and Brent's finishing the 14 month long sprinkler installation for our yard!

I went home to Boston for Memorial Weekend and the following week, to celebrate my home ward's 50th reunion. There was a picnic, tons of food, the famous Foxboro Ward Variety Show, and an unbelievable sabbath with former bishops speaking, and people that I have loved and grown up with all around me. It was fulfilling and truly wonderful to see all the people I have grown up calling family. The best part was the Variety Show, for Foxboro is well known for having crazy and talented musicians, and we've been putting on shows for more years than I've been alive. The famous band is called The Smokin' Firebrands (out of the Bible), and they're a mix of incredible (some professional!) musicians- drums, lead guitar, keyboard, bass, and rhythm guitar (my dad!). The fun part was that myself and my two best friends Anna and Maria were the singers for the band, and we put on a fantastic show! We sang Journey, Dixie Chicks, Old Time Rock and Roll, The Water is Wide, Black Horse & A Cherry Tree, finished it off with James Taylor's "Steamroller." It was crazy and insane, but singing with my two best friends (call us VXI) is better than almost anything in this entire world. It had been too many years since we had performed together, and we just rocked it! My other favorite act was my dad's best friend Scott singing (who totally cannot sing) "Jeremiah was a bullfrog!" And gets all dressed up in this Elvis costume with a 5 foot tall afro wig on and cracks us all up. Before he sang this time, he dedicated the song to me, since I had told him I wouldn't come home unless he did the Jeremiah!

Another wonderful thing that happened was that my father's long lost brother came to the show, and I was able to meet him for the first time. Seeing him stirred something so profound within me, as I witnessed first hand the miracle of finding family amid controversy and adversity. They are brothers in every sense of the word, and I am so grateful to have met him.

The rest of the week home was just that: home. My parents, my best friends, the beach, the history of Boston, good food, and loved ones. It was a most needed vacation. I missed Brent terribly, but they recorded the variety show and are putting it on a DVD so he will be able to see me perform anyway!

The other miracle that happened this month was that our backyard sod finally got laid! It has been a long year of dirt, dust, weeds, and pure ugliness. Brent stayed up late for many nights bob-catting the yard, raking, pulling weeds, evening out the ground and prepping. And that was even before the sod was delivered! So, with help from our neighbors and brent's brother vaughn, we finally have grass in the backyard. Why not the front, you say? Well, the guys figured out we have a huge problem with the city side stop and waste- and they dug up a ton of muck and blech and the front yard looks worse than ever. However, I am grateful for what I do have- which is, finally- a back yard. I love you, Brent!